I’m doing a rewrite on a script of mine that did fairly well in a couple of screenwriting competitions.
To that end, I read through my judge’s feedback from the PAGE International Screenwriting Competition a few years ago.
Suffice it to say, there were several criticisms of my script, but there are two in particular I want to look at in this post.
Firstly, my default setting is to overwrite. Dense description. A compulsion to show every little action – An attempt, I think, to unleash the director I hope is within me!
Secondly, although my judge felt the characters spoke with unique voices, he pointed out that my dialogue needed to advance the plot more.
Cut down description, use dialogue to advance the plot.
It was, and is, good advice.
In the rewrite (and subsequent scripts) I am focusing on only showing what needs to be shown, and writing it as precisely as possible. It is easy to notice a difference between shorter or longer scene description. It is less easy to recognise whether dialogue helps advance the plot.
I have a suspicion, however, that the two are linked. I believe that overwriting naturally tends to dilute dialogue as far as plot points are concerned. When more is shown in the scene description, the dialogue feels like it has less to do.
When scene description is shorter, there is more of an emphasis on the dialogue. The dialogue carries the plot more, because it has to – less is being said in the description, more needs to be said by the characters.
I’ll see if my hunch proves true as I continue to write, both this script and future stories.
Will shorter description lead to dialogue that does a better job of advancing the plot?
There is one way to find out.
Write!