Firstly, let me say that the script is a great read. For those who have not read the script, Rob Reiner, the director, has perfectly captured Goldman’s words and story.
A careful read of Goldman’s script reveals much to learn.
Exposition
By using the simple giant, Fezzik, to question what is going on, Goldman is able to provide the necessary exposition to clue the audience into what is going on. We are told about the feud between Guilder and Florin, but the exposition seems natural enough, because Fezzik himself wouldn’t know.
Similarly, Vizzini, so enamoured with his intelligence, likes to reveal the intricacies of his plot to frame Guilder. Again, though, it fits with his character.
Dialogue – A limp and an eye-patch
In his book Save the Cat, Blake Snyder talks about giving your characters a limp and and eye-patch. He was talking about the physical description – how to make characters memorable in the reader’s mind, but dialogue is an integral way of doing this. Fezzik’s use of rhyme serves no real plot purpose, but it does make him unique. It also provides humour.
Another application of this is having dialogue that sums up a character’s goal. Consider Inigo’s lines at the end.
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
This is Inigo’s goal, his obsession. It captures his essence. Try and find dialogue that sums up your characters and have them use it.
Dialogue – One-liners
No, not 1980s Arnold Schwarzenegger one-liners from action movies, but rather quotable lines which serve to identify certain characters. This is a shorthand version of the limp and eye-patch. Think, for example, of Vizzini’s constant repetition of the word, “inconceivable” and Westley’s, “As you wish.” Goldman uses both of these lines humourously, but Westley’s also has a thematic application, which serves to make it quite powerful. Don’t be afraid to repeat these lines to give them more power.
Dialogue – Theme
Dialogue explicity states the theme at several key moments in the story, usually preceeding key action beats. For example, just before Prince Humperdinck uses The Machine to suck the life from Westley, he states his reason for doing it.
You truly love each other, and so you might have been truly happy. Not one couple in a century has that chance, no matter what the storybooks say. And so I think no man in a century will suffer as greatly as you will.
This is on page 84, basically our break into Act 3. Make sure that the characters know why they are doing what they are doing. Rather than having mindless action sequences, make sure there is something at stake, some thematic problem so that the action drives the theme forward.
Economy
Goldman is a master at writing economically. He does not bog down with description, but is able to give the essence of the movie quickly. For instance, in the space of a page, Goldman is able to show the relationship develop between Westley and Buttercup.
We are introduced to them, and see the realisation of their love through the combination of the visuals (Westley doing doing something for Buttercup she could easily do herself) and the repetition of Westley’s line, “As you wish.”
Writing economically is one of the challenges of screenwriting, but the more you can read and see how the masters do it, the better your own writing will be.
The Beats
Blake Snyder’s beats certainly fit the major action at each stage of the story in The Princess Bride, but they are not limited to only those sections. Humperdinck certainly closes in on Buttercup and Westley in the Bad Guys Close In section, but he is closing in from before then, too. The Fun and Games certainly contain fun and games, but so do other sections.
Make sure that you don’t stick so slavishly to the beats that you force the story to be artificial. Recognise that there is some fluidity, but that the beats contain the major emphasis of those sections, and it will serve you in good stead.
Conclusion
Goldman’s script is a great one. It is definitely worth a read, and if you haven’t yet read it, shoot me an email and I can send it on.